Sorry, guys, I hope you don?t mind terribly, but this article is for us girls only. No peeking now?nope, you won?t be interested, so scat?just click yourselves away!
Okay, girlfriends, now that it?s just us girls, I?ve got a question for you.
Have you ever noticed that we love to please people?
Ya? think???
We grew up trying hard to please our mothers and our fathers and our teachers and our friends and then, of course, our husbands (okay, occasionally we get a wee bit contrary with husbands, but the REAL us has to squeak out sometimes) and our children.
As kids, we didn?t like getting yelled at (to this day, I STILL hate getting yelled at?it gives me a bad feeling in my stomach), or even growled or scowled at for that matter.
We tried our hardest to be good little girls.
As adults, we don?t like to cause trouble or step on any toes. We really feel badly when we hurt someone?s feelings, don?t we?
Most of us can?t get through the day without saying ?sorry,? even when we have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. It?s quite automatic.
Just for grins, listen to yourself sometime. How many times in a day do you say, ?Sorry?? (Hey, look! I JUST realized that ?sorry? is even my very first word in this article!)
It?s simple. We women don?t like to get in the way. We like to make other people happy, and we like to be liked.
And that, girlfriends, are some of our greatest gifts; and some of our greatest challenges, especially when it comes to making changes in our lives.
And, yes, I?m talking about changes of all kinds, but you know what kind of changes I?m leading up to. (Darn, I hate being so predictable); changes that can literally add life to our years and years to our lives.
One of the most common questions that women ask me when they are ready to make that bold leap of courage into the world of permanent weight loss and healthy eating is, ?What do I do when I go to someone?s house to eat?? or ?What do I serve when someone comes to my house?? or ?What shall I tell my family and friends about the changes I am making??
Many times we are so concerned about what other people think of us that we choose (it is a choice) to stay stuck in our old eating habits, which are literally killing us, rather than make any waves. (Sometimes we really don?t want to make changes, and we use other people as convenient excuses.)
Even if we say to ourselves, ?It?s none of my business what other people think of me (thanks Claire for the reminder!),? we can?t deny the fact that, for us women, making waves doesn?t feel good, does it?
Well how good does it feel to get a breast cut off or to get insulin shots every day for the rest of our lives?
How good does it feel to look in the mirror, morning after morning, and not like the way we look? And what about not being able to fit into our clothes or enjoy shopping? How good does that feel?
We all know that whenever we make changes it always makes other people uncomfortable, and that makes us uncomfortable. That?s just the way it is.
The only constant in life is change.
We are all old enough to know just how quickly life can and does change. So why not choose our changes when we can instead of waiting for change to happen to us?
Do you think it would be easier for your husband, kids, and friends to adjust to simple, common sense changes in your eating habits, or to adjust to the changes forced on them, and you, if you get lightening-bolted by that dreaded diagnosis?cancer; or perhaps even worse?
If you don?t know which changes your loved ones would prefer, just ask them.
And the next time you wonder what to say to a family member or friend about what you?re choosing to feed your body to get your weight down and your self-esteem and energy up, BE HONEST. Whoa!
Now that?s a novel idea! Honesty with your loved ones?exactly what you taught your own children, as taught to you by your own mother.
Tell the simple truth about what you?re doing for you. And don?t preach, judge, or try to convince them that you know what?s right for them.
You don?t know what?s right for them. But you do know in your heart what?s right for YOU. Make conscious choices that reflect who YOU are.
Who knows? Perhaps being a model for others will change someone?s life. In fact, perhaps being a model will SAVE someone?s life?and that life may just be your husband?s, your friend?s, or your child?s.
Now, just between us girls, wouldn?t that make you the happiest woman on the planet?
As my daughter, Erin, reminds me in my low moments, ?Mom, you have to be different to make a difference.?
So, girlfriend, be your perfectly different and beautiful self and shine your light on the world.
Your life does make a difference! Know it. Feel it.
Hey, what do you say we let those guys back in now? Shhhhh, mum?s the word!
?Hello, guys, we missed you!?
| Dr. Leslie Van Romer is a motivational health speaker, writer and lifestyle coach. Visit Dr. Leslie at http://www.drLeslieVanRomer.com for practical direction, hope and inspiration. | |
