Adult Peer Pressure. How Do You Fit In

Peer - a person or thing of the same rank, value, quality, ability, etc.; equal; specific Pressure - a compelling influence; constraining force [social pressure]

Peer pressure stems from an individuals' need of approval and acceptance of their relationship with others. It is a pattern of certain behaviors that develops in early childhood and extends into our adult life. The term "fitting in" doesn't apply only to your youth, it also affects the decisions you make as adults.

The fear of acceptance and focusing on what others think can prevent you from making sound nutritional choices. Questions that can frequently pop up in your mind: if I don't do this, will they not accept me for who I am? Will they think I am not their friend or equal because I don't go with the flow?

Mike, a 30 year old professional who does all he can to eat right and exercise consistently, struggles with his eating habits when hanging out with his friends. Tailgate parties, Friday night happy hours, picnics, football fantasy meetings, backyard barbeques, watching sports.

He feels pressure to eat what his friends are eating or to order that huge Mt. Fuji looking nacho appetizer. Although he wants to lose weight and he knows he should for certain health reasons, he struggles to be his own individual in these situations.

He frequently finds himself overeating in these social situations even though he is not hungry. He feels he has to eat to fit in. He doesn't want to be an outsider. Sometimes he doesn't even realize he is overeating and making poor nutritional food choices until it is too late. It has become habitual.

When he does mention to his friends that he doesn't want something or he limits his food portions they look at him awkwardly and make comments like, "what, are you on a diet?", are you sick?", just eat it, we have more than enough", I made this for you", don't you like my cooking?", a little bit won't hurt". Think about all the times you said to someone that you were on a diet. What were their reactions?

Why the sabotage? What satisfaction will they receive when he does give in and eat what they are? Why do they get joy out of getting you to do something you don't really want to do? What do they get out of making negative comments to Mike? Maybe it's because they might believe they don't have the power to change their habits like he does. If they are overweight, he might be putting pressure on them to start caring about their own weight and health issues. They might not feel ready to do this so they try talking Mike out of it.

Don't eat with the herd---Assertive tools for success.

1. Be assertive. Saying "no thanks", I don't want any", "maybe a little later", "just give me a little", "I'll split some with you" will work in most situations. Stick to the original answer. Saying "no, no, no" and then giving in will always make future situations harder.

2. Avoidance. Stay away from the cook or the buffet table and keep occupied. This will give you time to think about the situation and the choices will be easier to make.

3. Delay. If at a picnic, do the activities first or mingle away from the food area with other guests. They won't even notice you didn't eat.

4. Plan. Bring a dish for a party or picnic like barbequed chicken, cut up fruit, turkey burgers or a low fat-low calorie dessert.

5. Eat small portions. If it is on your plate, you might feel the need to finish it so it isn't wasted.

6. Eat ahead. Don't go hungry...anywhere. Stay satisfied all day and you will have more power over your choices.

Don't compromise the things you believe in. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Be grateful of the healthy choices you make each and every day. If you want to splurge at an event, feel free to do so. Make it your choice and not a choice due to peer pressure. You should be your own individual and be responsible for the choices you make in life.

Ask yourself, are the choices you make going to hinder or help you in your ability to achieve your goals? Avoid that instant gratification of consuming the unhealthy foods and reward the healthier choices you made. You will find yourself in a positive state of mind knowing that you stuck to your decisions to eat healthy and staying on your path in achieving the goals you set. Go over some of these destructive situations in your head and practice what you will do or say to overcome them. Mike can do it and so can you.